Every day I wake up I am a different perdon. Each time I am asked for my personal profile info I can not just copy and paste from different page. Every second of my life I am a different person. Today I am frustrated millionaire, tomorrow I am happy but poor dancer. Each time when I look into the mirror I see somebody else with different age, colour of skin and hair. I lost my identity since I was born and how can I say who I am. I know my official name, though I've got so many nick names, I know my profession nevertheless I've got 1000 of these. I am PR, PA, GM, I am a housewife, I am a cleaner, I am a yogi, I am a dancer. I am all that. I am sitting in the chair, I am lying in the bed no matter wether it's the darkness or lightness, I am lonely, I am in the centre of universe's attention, I am faithful, I am a cheater, I am sober, I am drugged, I am conscious, I am completely lost, I am here, I am death, I am alive, I am there. I am from Venus, I am from Mars, I am a dancer for life, I am a looser for death, I am present on earth. I am a kid of the god, I am a sister of demon, I am a daughter of evil, I am a partner of hell, I am a friend of heaven, I am an enemy of myself, I am a mess of frustration, I am a power of the sun, I am a sadness of the moon, I am completely out of the blue.....
love's ode:
Recently we've been through the battle accusing each other of our rights and faults. I know that it's not easy time for both of us especially for you. I apologise for making you feel guilty of not dedicating me enough time or not doing enough for me. I am very thankful for all you've done and I really appreciate it. I would probably need a little bit more attention from you now when I feel really down after my injury. Though I don't want you to be overwhelmed by my problems and don't want you to get distracted from your..... I am normally not very needy person, but at the moment I am going through very funny time probably due to that injury. I'm struggling to put all the puzzles into one bit. I feel like I am drowning down in a deep water and I can not find the emergency exit. I've got support in you, my friends and family so you don't need to worry about me. I'll be back to balance soon (hopefully;). I want you to know as I said already that I want to continue the never ending battle with you till the end of my life. Hopefully it will come soon, otherwise I'll turn into total mess...;) Which means I want to live a peaceful life with you no matter happens. I am not scared of anything in order to keep connection between you and me. I am ready to face the problems and insecurities due to our culture differences (even if I don't experience any, for first time in my life I feel deeply connected to your roots)... It's impossible to fall in love with a perfect one, because someone like that doesn't exist. Even though it would be so boring to have everything sorted out and having no reason to fight for the best. What's really important in our relationship is to remember how much we care for each other, how strong our feelings are to be able to reject what's against us. It's up to us to decide our own destiny.....we are going to live with the person we choose but nobody else. In order to be happy do we need to come from the same background? If it was our last moment in our life would it be really the case? Shouldn't we take a risk and live fully without any worries and doubts of tomorrow? Shouldn't we just fully enjoy the moment and be together with all love we've got for each other? We live in 21 century with freedom to express our needs without any restriction. Shouldn't we take it as a challenge and make it our life's role? Why must the roles be always negative? We can create our own roles which make us stronger and happier. I hope our feelings are powerful enough to fight against the wall which society builds between us. I am not superstitious and I am aware of consequences of living with you, even thought I still want to take the risk of being with you ..... I love you enough to continue the battle against the obstacles ....
