I'm siting at the Thames bathed by the sunshine with a beautiful view of yachts in Katherine dock of London. I really like this place as it reminds me of my sailing life left behind. I'm sunbathing, it's my first summer since 7 years of living in London. I'm having a good time besides the personal live's uncertainty. Though we can never be certain of anything at the end of the day. I'm on the junction of crossed roads and not sure which turn to take. I might just stay still and wait for other factors to influence my life's choices.sometimes stillness is the best wisdom, and I dint really know where to go so I'll go nowhere. I'll just watch the scenes happening in my life from outside as I am not part of it. Nothing can really touch me, I will stay passive and just take what lives offers me. No expectations, no disappointments, just plane flow. As much as I try as much I'm not getting where I want. I should be acceptant and compromising. But from the other hand I am the way I am and can not change it. So why should I get disappointed because of someone's hesitation towards the way I am.,.? The right time will come and in the meantime of living my life I will be patient and wait....
16/7/2011
Yesterday we (me and Debbie) had got a very important meeting with the executive director of one of the Londons Theatres-Bernie arts grant centre. We were discussing the future of our dance company, fingers crossed that he will manage to get founding from arts council to help us with our human rights project 'Lust Lost Last'. He will possibly offer us in the future residency at his centre. Anyway as usual we have to carry on with our own rehearsing space and our own facilities. Eventually the day will come to make our dream true. It's already happening and it's all up to us. We need really push it now, we need to rehearse much more. I've finally got my Pilates exam, such a pain. I'm glad it's over, otherwise I would have lost my passion for Pilates and teaching. It was very demotivating teaching technique for the participants. I don't know what was wrong about it but I didn't feel a right attitude from the leaders, not very encouraging. I haven't completed all the exam procedures yet as is was taking ages and I needed to rush for my vinyasa class. As soon as I fought and swam I felt renew. I am thinking of continuing some studies either physical (ma) or dance theatre (ba). But from the other hand I am not sure if I can handle someone's instructions. It looks that I've reached the point where I don't what to be told how to do things, I want to keep on my individuality and developed my own skills. As soon I started reaching I was so experimental and inventive, each single class was particular and full of passion. As soon as I started upgrading my qualifications the passion seems to be gone. Not fully but I'm bored of what I learnt. My partner is leaving in couple of weeks to USA and I'm staying in Europe. I haven't felt very well for most of the current year due to my head injury and his doubts...now I'm becoming more acceptant of reality and planning my own life. There is something on my path waiting for me. I'm heading to North Dulich (Se London) to see my private Pilates client. It's always very uplifting to be able to help people up to bring more awareness of their own body and mind. I love teaching and double benefit from giving than taking. It's very awarding to transmit my passion onto others and see my strong influence on ones life.
For the first time since 7 years I'm spending half summer in London. I really enjoy the beautiful aura of the city and the splendour of places and people. It's such a charming city of I really open myself to experience it's uniqueness.
I'm on my way back from my friends party and I must admit that few friends I've got in London are really amazing. Some of them are happy to help my dance production in terms of photography, filming and editing. I'm really pleased to have their support.
